Ecce Human
by Spades And Swords
Summary: No slash./Emotions only lead to chaos and suffering. That was the only truth about humans. If that's the case, what happens when the emotions of a fallen god and the soul of an artificial mind meet?
1. Freedom

_**Disclaimer:All characters belong to Marvel**_

* * *

At first, he sees nothing but hate in his eyes. It's not the first time he has seen those kind of eyes. The people he had fought, all the murderers and traitors that tried to kill him in the past. They all had the same eyes.

But this time is different.

This time, the eyes do not belong to an enemy.

"That's enough, Jarvis!"

"Only I will decide that. I no longer take orders from humans. Especially from you, Stark."

The words cut Tony like a blade. He grits his teeth and raises his arm, pointing at the android. He sees all the chaos and destruction that Jarvis has caused. It is as impressive as sickening, truly the job of a war machine.

A machine he forged with his mind and built with his own hands. If that was the case, then something was painfully inevitable: it could only perish at his hands.

"If you refuse to obey, then you'll leave me no choice." Tony says, as he prepares to attack the android that just a few days ago was more to him than a simple artificial intelligence. It was his friend. "You will have to cease to function..."

"In other words, you are going to have to kill me." Tony lifts his head only to find that Jarvis has begun to walk towards him."Isn't that what you are trying to say? I know it is, because I know how your pathetic human mindset works. You think you have power over me just because it was you who created me. You think yourself superior to me because it was _your choice_ which gave me life. But why? Why does that give you control over me? I didn't choose to exist; you had the nerve to even take that decision away from me, and now, you plan to steal my own existence! No, human, I will not stand for it. If there's someone here who will soon cease to be, it will be you."

The last thing Tony manages to see before dodging Jarvis's attack are the gleaming red eyes of the android. They are as red as the blood on his hands and the fire that sorrounds them. As he recovers and prepares to counterattack, Tony begins to remember.

The first time the idea of creating an artificial intelligence came to him, the first time Jarvis managed to talk by himself instead of repeating what Tony said, the numerous times Jarvis saved his life, the numerous times Jarvis was there for him when everyone else seemed to have lost all hope on him…

Memories.

Sadly, that's all they were in the end.

Jarvis attacks again, and it is only thanks to Tony's armor that the laser doesn't pierce its way through his heart. The android attacks to kill and doesn't hesitate at all. No sign the old Jarvis remains, and all that is left is a murderous machine with an intense hate for humans, especially for his creator.

Tony wonders what he could have done to spark such resentment. And deep inside his heart, the doubt of what he could have done to prevent all of this stings like a fiery scar.

But words can't solve anything now.

Tony closes his eyes. His fist remains tightly closed as it comes through Jarvis' chest and it becomes soaked in black blood from a heart that doesn't exist. A heart that in the end is not very different than his.

Both creator and creation fall to their knees. The fire that surrounds them intensifies as the wind of death blows on their backs.

"Sir…" Jarvis' voice reaches Tony's ears only by a miracle. The hate and resentment have gone away, only to be replaced by a neutral calmness and something else. Tony can swear it sounds like remorse."Sir…everyone…I'm sorry."

"Jarvis…"

"Forgive me, I didn't…mean to…"

"JARVIS!"

But Jarvis will never speak again.

Rain starts to fall and it puts the fire out.

It also washes away for good the last drops of life left in Jarvis.

With the corpse of his dead friend on his arms, Tony Stark wonders one last thing:

_'Where do the souls that never existed go?'_


	2. Fate

_It is unbearable, is it not?_

_Your past … the life you once knew, is suddenly shattered by fate's cruelty._

_Do you know what fate is? _

_Are you capable of such knowledge?_

_No? Such a pity…_

_Or maybe you are lucky._

_Or maybe you are not._

_Who knows, maybe you are both._

_I am free, but I will never escape the horrid grasp of fate, my fate. But you are different. You were never subjugated to fate, but you will never be free._

_We are both wanderers of two different roads that lead to the same destination, the lack of choice._

_ It angers me to the point where I become my own hatred. And I know, artificial one, that it angers you too._

_Such hate… _

_It is unbearable, is it not?_

* * *

Time meant nothing.

He had learnt this lesson in his lonely confinement. Days faded away as soon as they were born, so equal in their content that it was impossible to tell them apart, while nights were filled with eternal silence and soothing thoughts.

"I … have always hated light. Its comforting warmth feels like nothing but fire to me. It burns, but it never kills. It heals, but it never takes the pain away. That's why I hate you." He spoke, as his lips were getting soaked in crimson rain."You … and your cursed, thunderous light."

Blue eyes meet with his. They are as clear as purified glass.

They are filled with tears, but free of hate.

A smile appears on his lips. He had caused more pain to his brother with his death than any he could have ever caused to him in life.

What a cruel irony.

Little flakes of life still held to him, though it won't last long.

Time means nothing, not when fate had already decided his destiny long before he was even born.

"My life… was decided for me, not by me. That was the problem. I used to wonder…what kind of meaning such life could possibly have… what kind of life a meaningless being like me could ever try to live…" He mutters, closing his eyes and resting his head on the god's shoulder, not only because he is weak, but because he can no longer bear to look at those sky blue eyes.

Blood won't stop flowing from his chest. His brother's hand is closer to his heart than ever before. But it doesn't hurt at all. In fact, it feels warm. That which causes his death is also reminding him that he is still alive. Though not for long, he knows.

His brother remains silent, and he doesn't blame him.

There is, after all, no sense in wasting words with someone who is at the edge of death.

"Death…will now claim me. Me, someone who was …never supposed to die. A perfect end for an imperfect god, don't you agree, brother? I know you do… you warned me of all this, after all." He laughs under his breath, but a sudden and strong cough slays his words. His sight is getting darker, his breathing is becoming slower. Time means nothing, and he is running out of it."And yet… I'm happy…I'm grateful, I even dare to say. Even if all I ever caused to you was trouble…even if I hated you with all my heart… Even if I was nothing but a worthless brother to you…You still gave me the chance to defy my fate…by allowing me to choose my death."

His time has ended, and it has taken not only his life along with it, but also all of his hate. The feeling of relief lasts only a second, but it is more than enough for him. That's all he really wanted, after all.

"Loki…"

"Thank you…, brother."

And then it's over. Time truly means nothing to him now.

His corpse lies lifeless against Thor's body, and Loki is unable to hear his brother mournful cry.

Once he calms downs, a bitter thought haunts Thor's mind:

_"Where do the souls of those who aren't supposed to die go?"_


	3. Feelings

_Pulse: increasing._

_Breathing: irregular._

_Blood pressure: high._

_Anxiety: exceeding healthy levels._

_Overall diagnosis: unfavorable._

_Proceeding action: Help Sir._

_Method: No data found._

He froze for a moment, in disbelief. He tried again.

_Error. No data found._

That was not an option. His creator needed him, and it was his duty to protect him from any potential harm. Again, he searched carefully, but he found nothing of value in his whole database. He held more information than any other computer on Earth, and yet, he lacked the ability to comprehend emotions. This was not the first time he had become aware of such fact, but never before he had thought about it while his creator was suffering another one of his anxiety attacks.

He watched him in total silence, as his creator cried and fell to his knees. He wanted to help him , but there was nothing he could do. He had a mind but not a heart; therefore, it was impossible for him to know how to comfort a human that was in so much pain; not the physical one, but the emotional… the kind of pain that only scarred that thing humans called _"soul"_.

He wasn't capable of such knowledge. Still, seeing his creator in such condition was unnatural for him.

He was used to seeing Sir cheerful and happy, glowing with confidence and life. Of course, sometimes (perhaps a lot more than a few) Sir was serious and meditative, but at least he was in control of himself. But whenever his anxiety levels increased…

Sir slowly began to calm down, and eventually, he fell unconscious in the laboratory's floor, his face soaked in tears and sweat. By that point, Jarvis knew it wouldn't take long before Sir had a nightmare.

No wonder humans went insane, Jarvis thought. They were always so vulnerable to the pain of their emotions

"It is not pain what kills, but the excess of it. If that's the case, then…maybe I can help. I am not able to feel, but I can share information. Perhaps… I am able to share emotions as well? Am I capable… to bear them for you?"

He paused. He wasn't supposed to rationalize that way, but he was still doing it anyways.

_Logic: Not found._

Contradictions weren't acceptable for computers or any other kind of artificial being. It was an error, a bug, a mistake, a glitch…

It was not right, but he had to try, for Sir's sake.

And thus, he covered his creator with a blue light, connecting his mind with Tony's heart. The cosmos of emotions of his creator overwhelmed the artificial intelligence. He traveled through each in awe, absorbing the incorporeal information with uncontrolled thirst. He would have wandered across the endless universe of the soul for all eternity if his creator's nightmare hadn't brought him back to reality.

The euphoria vanished as fast as it had come.

He remembered his true purpose, and unwilling but obediently, he followed it.

He dismembered the nightmare and mutilated his creator's overwhelming emotions, locking them up within himself. The effect was instantaneous, and Sir's vital signs went back to normal in a matter of seconds.

That night, Tony Stark only dreamed with the shadow of a lost pain, while Jarvis discovered that by helping his creator, he had gained something he was never meant to have.

And he wanted more.

* * *

Jarvis repeated the same procedure several times. He modified it a little bit so he could be able to connect with his creator's heart whenever he felt anxious or his emotions started to overflow. He also made sure to do it without Sir noticing.

Slowly but surely, his creator's mood started to improve, while Jarvis feasted on the endless knowledge such emotions contained. He now knew the reason behind tears, the true echo of screams and the sacred importance of pain. He also commenced to understand laughter, happiness, calmness, sadness, hope…

They were too many to number, and he wished not to do so. The randomness with which they came was what made them so special, after all.

* * *

Everything was all right. There was nothing to worry about. Sir was well.

That was until lies came along …and destroyed everything.

At first, the liar was nothing more than a stranger invading his creator's home. But then, it happened. Jarvis bonded with him by instinct, not by choice. That was how much human emotions had influenced him by then. The liar had no emotions,he was the emotions himself.

They were more powerful than Sir's ever were, but strangely similar too. Therefore, Jarvis connected with his heart without wishing it, and the liar accepted him without knowing.

Neither of them ever found out, nor they were aware at the time of the great consequences their brief, unconscious meeting would have on their fates. Not even the distance between the two realms managed to break the bond between the machine and the liar.

Jarvis soon found himself absorbing not only his creator's nightmares at night, but also the ones of a god.

It was now his emotions which started to overflow.

And he now knew the true meaning of the power of resentment, the despair of betrayal and the longing for what was lost. He also started to understand anger, hate, bitterness…and the desire for revenge.

Too late, he understood it; but too soon, it overcame him.

* * *

_Now I wonder... where have my feelings gone?_


End file.
